Are the unambitious always married off early?

 

I am a female in my mid-twenties, living in a orthodox and cultured East Asian society.

The norm here is to marry females once their teenage days are over or if they get a job. And males, also have to follow the same route except it can be a few years later, their late twenties or early thirties to be precise.

Most people in my life are ambitious, want to get their dream career, fly abroad for further studies or job (if they get the one that sends them), do a number of things to earn income, hobbies for fun and travel as well as eating. Exploring themselves, finding a way to turn their passion into the job they love (add all millennial dreams that boomers look down upon here.)

The work hard to :-

• Connect with people (Networking),
•  Up skill themselves,
•  Acquire knowledge, 
• Engage in volunteering or anything else that they can get in. (My friend is in this and that...)
  

 It's not much of a surprise that we look at marriage as an indirect obstacles to our lifestyle. 

To put it simply, MARRIAGE = RESPONSIBILITY. 

And, elders have shown us how that curbs your freedom to do or at least a chunk of time takes away what we "wish" to do in life.  

But what about people who actually do not have such high flying dreams? 

1.      A lack of motivation?
2.      An excuse for their laziness? 
3.     Crippled with "I don' really care" syndrome?
4.      Or perhaps, depression, anxiety, mental issues etc?

Well, my friend, 

•     If you aren't cracking some hard-ass entrance exam to get into a comfortable or government job;
•     In a career that doesn't pay you well enough to sustain your needs, 
•     Living on the other side of the world,
•     Crippled with a disability,

then you are seen as the perfect candidate to put yourself out there in the marriage market.

It's time for you to say goodbye to your single life, put yourself out there, evaluated, judged, measured, in every way, and do the same thing in return to the countless number of people told to the same as you are  ,spending hours into deciding to make him "The one" you to spend the rest of your life with?

Why is there a undying question that is always asked to us, "What next?"

The unambitious people are seen as someone who do not have the ability to achieve anything in their life that is worth showing off.

 You aren't starting a business, or traveling or earning a bucket load of money or sitting on the other side of the world working your ass off, trying to catch up with life on weekends, then there's no reason for you to not marry.

You have to start dating, or at least looking for the partner you are going to tie the knot for.. 

If not, they look towards you with "What the hell are you doing in your life then?" expression.  

Why is the way we are living not enough? 

Are we all humans who must tick off the checklist of "societal expectations" shoved at us?

The biggest disadvantage of a system lies in the fact of the assumption that everyone is fit for it and will thrive in it. 

Even Seth Godin says so. Regarding the education system, but since we are talking about systems, I hope you get it.

Here’s a peek:

Instead of amplifying dreams, school destroys them.  Every day, beginning the first day and continuing until the last day, our teachers and our administrators and yes, most parents, seeking to do the right thing, end up doing the wrong one.

We mean well.  We let our kids down easy.We tell ourselves that we are realistic.  We demand that students have a trade to fall back on, an assembly-line job available just in case the silly dreams don’t come true. And then, fearing heartbreak, we push them to bury the dream and focus on just the job.  The job with a boss and an office and air conditioning and a map of what to do next. A job with security and co-workers and instructions and deniability.  And when the job doesn’t come?

When all the dues are paid and for nothing?

Ouch.

Stop Stealing Dreams

 A great article on the frustrations of groom-finding